Humor Happens—And It Helps, Too
When I was in sixth grade, my very excellent teacher, Mrs. McEwen, taught me the power of writing - and of humor. One Monday morning, she began to read some funny stories to the class. She read such stories every day for four days, to give us examples of humorous writing. Then, on Thursday, she charged us with a horrific homework assignment: “Write something funny, and then read it to the class. We’ll tell you how funny it is.”
I cannot imagine anything more difficult than that assignment. I went home and thought about it for a long time. Then I remembered the silly things that some of the kids in our class had done. I somehow came up with the idea that the best thing to do would be to write about my classmates, because we truly had some funny kids in that class. But I also realized that since I had to read this aloud to my fellow sixth graders, and if I was going to make jokes about my classmates, I had to joke about all of them, including myself. And, I had to be nice, because everybody likes to hear about themselves, but nobody wants to be a laughingstock. It wouldn’t be in my best interest to make enemies in sixth grade.
So, I spent the evening writing an essay about the kids in Mrs. McEwen’s class. I made sure to say something gently funny about each person in the class—and about me. When I read it aloud to the class the next day, I was utterly terrified. What if my classmates were offended? What if they hated me for the rest of my sixth-grade career? But to my delight, everyone laughed, and so did Mrs. McEwen. Afterwards, she explained to the class that the best kind of humor is personal, and that people don’t mind laughing at themselves as long as it is kind. She also taught us the phrase “self-deprecating humor” and pointed out its importance in making people laugh.
I’ll never forget that day. The sound of that laughter was music to my somewhat deaf ears. It still is.
As years (many, many of them) have gone by, I’ve come to appreciate the true value of humor. By looking at the funny side of life, we become stronger, wiser, and more resilient. According to Allen Klein in The Healing Power of Humor, calling on humor in difficult times “gives us perspective and keeps us in balance when life seems out of balance” (1989, p. 165).
When my granddaughter Charlotte recalls her grandfather, my late husband, she says, “Pap-Pap! Ha, ha, ha! He is so funny!” He died when she was two. I’m not sure there’s much memory for her, but I think it’s wonderful that she associates her Pap-Pap with laughter. What a tremendous legacy! Of all the wonderful things people have said about Tim, that one is the greatest.
Recently, my dear cousin, Terri, lost her husband. I try to text her every few days to check in with her, and to send her some funny little memes. She texted me to say thanks, and to say, “I don’t have much joy right now, but smiles, I can do.”
Yes, with smiles, we can do.
References
Klein, A. (1989). The healing power of humor: Techniques for getting through loss, setbacks, upsets, disappointments, difficulties, trials, tribulations, and all that not-so-funny stuff. New York: Penguin Putnam.
